EPISODE 16: BRIGA HEELAN
On showing up imperfectly and distinguishing problems from discomfort and confidence from self-worth.
Actor Briga Heelan is known for her role as the star of the TBS sitcom, Ground Floor. And you likely recognize her from any one of her regular appearances on Cougar Town, Undateable, and the Netflix hit comedy, Love. Most recently, Briga starred in the NBC comedy, Great News.
QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE
14:13 ~ "When I am not present with myself inside of my own body, my breathing is different. I ignore simple light cues like, 'hey you gotta pee right now' 'hey, you're hungry' 'hey, you feel scared' 'you're sweating right now.' I'm talking basic needs and things that my body is communicating to me. I can just shut those down and kind of not key into them at all to be either doing what I think somebody else wants me to do or doing something that I deem really important for whatever reason... I'm sort of ignoring what my physical being is trying to get me to tap into, which is this present moment."
21:50 ~ "I hope that everybody doesn't feel like they need permission from anyone else to be or do or say anything, but the thing that we can all sort of come together on and help each other out in is me showing up as I am to anything is giving somebody else the green light to do the same and that might not be a spoken thing, but that's an energy thing. You feel that. I feel that with other people. I'm astounded by that when I encounter that. When I encounter somebody just truly like being where they are... I think you can feel that... And I really appreciate when people talk about that too. I mean, my God, especially in motherhood... We get to just all give each other permission to be where we are."
23:16 ~ "A huge thing that's been really helpful for me in life also is getting really clear on what is a problem. Because if you deem something a problem, it implies that there's a fix - there's a solution that you should be actively pursuing to solve this problem. So if I am saying that me not being you know, 'this enough or that enough' or whatever. If I'm saying that all those things are 'problems.' If me being tired is a 'problem,' my whole day turns in to trying to solve that problem... Because there are problems in life. Lord knows. There are real problems in life that require real solutions in real time that you have to figure out. That is a truth. So I don't need to be doing that about things in my life that are not actual problems. They're just things that are maybe uncomfortable."
26:44 ~ “We're talking about problems... that come with just being a regular ass human... but that feel really dire. That's not to say that... my social anxiety isn't a problem. That feels like a problem to me. The idea, though, is that if we can expand our consciousness around it, we can have it go from what feels like a ‘problem’ to something that maybe elevates us and expands us.” - KF
28:37 ~ "There's... a lot of real self-worth and dignity and healthy pride on the other side of walking through... messy, hard feelings."
29:12 ~ "My former understanding of what being strong was, was not giving in to those feelings or not feeling those feelings - certainly not expressing those feelings to anybody else. And I don't think that anymore. I think that going wherever those feelings need to take me and then sharing that with somebody else and not being alone in them and asking for what I need while I'm going through them actually now really, really empowers me. So now it's kind of this direct line to 'OK well I don't know when I'm gonna feel strong, I don't know when I'm gonna feel strengthened by these feelings, but I know that the path to actual strength is through them.' Whereas I just had no practice with that before, so I didn't believe that to be true."
55:41 ~ “We have to work on who we’re being before we work on what we’re having.” - KF